I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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