when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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