You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
