Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
