These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
