Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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