so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm too high and old for this...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize