the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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