Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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