id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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