I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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