He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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