Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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