This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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