this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
