Duck Duck Cougar?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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