Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
