Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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