You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
