No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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