i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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