addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
