y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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