FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
