who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
