Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
