Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
