508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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