If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she smelled like a LAN party
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Boobs speak an international language.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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