I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
