3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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