She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
