from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
