when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
