i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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