I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
