oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
