I want to stick my p in your. b.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
