1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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