Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
