are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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