I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
