Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
