the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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