Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
