so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
