dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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