he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
