Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
