the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
